..sweet.little.things..

Feeling Anxious?

Identifying the source of your apprehension is the first step in determining whether it is a challenge worth taking on, or something less deserving of your focused efforts. This can help you capitalize on stress and anxiety when it is warranted, and begin alleviating tension when it’s not! -The Globe and Mail, February 24, 2011.

What Happened?

Over conversation with a friend tonight, I realized how fast time has gone by in the last few years.

It seemed as though time couldn’t move fast enough when we were in highschool, waiting and waiting to get older, have privileges, freedom. Then, our post-secondary school life started and each term’s end came quicker and quicker. When one day, we found ourselves walking across the auditorium stage, receiving a tap on the head by some guy dressed in a jester’s costume and our lives were supposed to be changed. And they are, by the fact that our whole lives we had been told that getting our degree = a job, and hey, it doesn’t. When we finally secure a job, not in our field, we never would have guessed how fast time goes by! Did 2010 even happen?

It’s 2011. Seriously, check the date on your computer, because it’s actually 2011.

I could have sworn that I was still 21 years old and listening to Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado, wishing I had those earrings she’s wearing in the video.

Ok fine, maybe it’s 2009. That was only last year. But wait, it’s not anymore. I put on a playlist tonight in my iTunes that I hadn’t listened to for awhile. And I’m loving hearing all the songs again, wondering why I didn’t put them on my Best of 2010 playlist. I go to my iTunes, and wtf? They’re all from 2009.

It doesn’t feel like 2010 ever happened.

So here’s to making 2011 count in the record books.

Let’s make something happen.

Take more pictures.

Laugh more.

See more.

Worry less.

Drink more gen maicha.

Walk Dallas Rd. more.

Try something new.

Wishing you a memorable, healthy, happy, 2011.

Xox.

N.

Outside.

It’s hard to explain. Inherently it’s just always been strange. Neither here nor there. Always somewhat out of place everywhere. Ambiguous, without a sense of belonging to touch. Somewhere halfway, feeling there’s no one completely the same. Standing alone eager to just believe it’s good enough to be what you really are, but in your heart uncertainty forever lies. You’ll always be somewhere on the outside.

-Mariah Carey - Outside

Everything I’m Not, Made Me Everything I Am.

A line from Kanye West.. oddly inspiring, as it is found on my “Strength” playlist.

Really fits this time in my life when nothing I do for some people is ever good enough. When it’s constant complaining about the way I’m living my life, with the people I choose to live my life with..

.. Hmm, as I’m writing this, seems this is applicable to more than one person in my life.. interesting ..

.. I’m really close to just giving up on things when people act the way they do sometimes. If they’re willing to throw EXTREMELY long relationships away because of some incident that has been really blown out of proportion, maybe it is just time to let it go. Every day it’s tearing me apart, and for what? Some awkward conversation that occurs when we run into each other on the street? No thanks.

I’m sick of being made to feel like a horrible friend. People experience different things in their own lives that build each person differently. Holding that against me is just really unacceptable now. We’re in our mid-20s, living our own lives, working our different jobs in different parts of the city, and some mutual understanding of how different our lives are would be greatly appreciated occasionally. We’ve grown up completely differently, have extremely different family dynamics, why would we be the same person? Because we’ve been friends all these years? It doesn’t equate.

I hope things will work themselves out, but by your recent interactions with me I don’t have high hopes.

Feels like I’m mourning the breakup of a lifelong relationship.

I’m an artist?

I realized the other day that I am an artist. I was helping a customer at the store I work at and she extended her observation that I was left-handed. She continued to mention how she had noticed in her experience that doctors are often left-handed. I laughed off the fact that I am extremely far from being a doctor. She then continued to list all the other professions that commonly attract left-handers and she mentioned artists. It was in that moment that I realized, hey, I’m an artist.

I have achieved such a sense of accomplishment completing all the paintings I have, and knowing that everyone who has one is really appreciative and loving their original painting.

I couldn’t be any more grateful for all the support I have received from family and friends, and am so so so grateful to have people from outside of my network bubble contact me for original works.

:)